1. Although he claims to be interested in astronomy, the telescope on his balcony is mounted to point directly at the apartment complex across the street.
2. Every time a cute girl walks by the two of you, he takes your hand and says, “I just love how trusting you are!”
3. When he spies an Angelina Jolie look-alike in a rain-soaked white tee shirt, he gets a migraine and has to put on sunglasses.
4. You catch him surfing a dating site, and he explains he has to check it out as research for work. PS: He’s an architect.
5. He vanishes for two days every time Victoria’s Secret sends out a new catalog.
6. He says “I think I went to school with her.” so often that you conclude he either went to an all-blond high school or is developing neurological problems.
7. His insta-handle is LadiesMan69.
8. He swears he has always been an avid fan of women’s beach volleyball despite being unable to explain any of the rules.
9. There’s no line at the bar, but it takes him 20 minutes to bring you a beer because he keeps circling the room, “trying to remember” where you sat.
10. He’s still mad that those novelty X-ray specs he ordered when he was eight years old weren’t real.